Axe Body Spray Sends People Fleeing From Seattle Church

ByNathan Davidson

A can of Axe Body Spray is being blamed for yet another crime against humanity when it caused the evacuation of a Seattle church last Friday.

A backpack reportedly left in a bathroom by a local Seattle douche was giving off “cough inducing fumes,” according to the Seattle Police Department. After police responded to the foul scent scene of the crime, fire crews called in a hazmat team to handle the ‘noxious fumes’ which other people simply know as Axe Body Spray.

The hazmat team quickly identified the problem as a malfunctioning can of Axe Body Spray and fortunately nobody was harmed. Satan could not be reached for comment.

VIA

A master of the internet farts and sciences. Often accused of being into movies, television, sports, gaming and long walks to the kitchen. Spent the last decade writing about the absurdity that is the internet with a primary focus on comedy, sports, entertainment and exposing cats for being evil monsters. Somehow achieved a BA in Advertising from the Michigan State University and MA in Copywriting from The Portfolio Center. Hobbies include keeping "that's what she said" jokes fashionable, imitating noises like a parakeet and preventing political arguments. List writer for Ranker and former Editor-in-Chief of World Wide Interweb.