Woman Asks ‘AITA’ For Wanting To Know Why Her Parents Gave Her Sister A More Expensive Wedding Gift

You know me by now: when I see wedding stories on AITA, I normally get my eye roll ready and my “YTA” stamp powered up.

But this story from u/weddinggifted stopped me in my tracks. She took to the subreddit to wonder if she was wrong “for asking my parents why my wedding gift was significantly smaller than my sister’s?” and after reading her story, I think my mind might be changed.

OP recently got married and was chatting with her sister after the honeymoon.

My husband and I (28M, 28F) got married recently, and my sister (31F) and I were discussing the wedding after returning from the honeymoon.

Their parents were well off and treated both sisters generously, but raised them to work hard.

We are very fortunate to have grown up in a household where my parents made very good money. They were generous with us, but raised my sister and I to be hard-working and not dependent on them as adults. My sister and I both do well financially as does her husband (36M).

The sisters have well paying jobs and one of the husband’s does too. OP’s, however, is not a big earner. But that’s fine. They’re happy.

My husband loves his job, but it is not one that has a ton of earning potential. He and I met in college, so I’ve always known this was his plan and we are very happy with our setup.

OP’s sister asked if she was going to use the gift to renovate the house and OP was confused: it wasn’t nearly enough.

During my discussion with my sister, she asked me if my husband and I were planning to use the wedding gift money from my parents to do a particular renovation for which we’ve been saving, but I was very confused because the gift, while extremely generous and appreciated, wasn’t nearly enough to cover that.

Her sister told her that she had been given more than twice the amount OP got… and OP had questions.

She told me how much she had been gifted and it was more than twice what we had been given. After that I couldn’t stop thinking about why I had gotten less, so my sister encouraged me to ask, and during a call with my mom I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

Her mother snapped at her when she asked and said that it’s because the sister’s husband earned more.

Her response was that it wasn’t my business, but since I did ask, my sister has chosen a partner that can accommodate the lifestyle she’s used to, so they’ve gifted her accordingly. They also gifted me according to the lifestyle I’ve chosen.

OP knows she’s not entitled to anything, but feels hurt that her parents treated her differently than her sister because of income.

We are not entitled to gifts of any size in life, but I still can’t help feeling hurt that my parents feel that my husband and I are less deserving than my sister and her husband based on income. Meanwhile my parents are angry at both my sister and me for having this discussion and bringing it to them.

So she asks: AITA?

Tl;dr: My sister accidentally revealed that our parents gave her a considerably larger wedding gift, now they are mad at me for bringing up this topic.

Isn’t this one just awful? Reddit thinks so too. One user wrote, “NTA There’s a lot of reasons that would have made sense and been OK, including a simple ‘we’re not in the same financial situation we were in when we gave your sister her wedding gift”. But to make it about how much you guys make, is basically a passive aggressive way of saying “you got less because you picked a partner we feel is beneath you.'”

Another was, rightfully, boggled: “NTA, and I don’t understand your parents’ reasoning. Seems like they just want to punish you for choosing a spouse that makes less money than they would have preferred. Honestly, if your sister’s husband is so well off, why would she need additional money as a gift?”